My heart hurts today.
I have been in the classroom as an educator for over a decade now, and a majority of these years were spent serving African-American students. I fear for every single kid who has passed through my classroom because they live in a world that is so full of injustice and hate. Faces flash through my mind as I think of the struggles they will face as black males. They WILL be treated differently because of the color of their skin, the neighborhoods they grew up in, the families they were born into. JH, RS, ZB, DG, DD and more – kids whose parents fear for their futures.
I made the difficult decision this year to leave the NYC Department of Education for a private school in our neighborhood. This new setting is the furthest from what I am used to teaching. I will be teaching kids from wealthy families who are able to afford a private education in one of the most expensive cities known. These students come from highly privileged, extremely educated, and undoubtedly powerful families.
I’ve been wrestling with my pride for a while after I decided to make this change in my life. I couldn’t help but feel like I let people down. It had been my dream to change lives in underprivileged neighborhoods, “Dangerous Minds” style. Frankly, I felt like a total sell-out. Teaching in a public school in Harlem broke me down emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. I caved, gave up, and moved out.
Today I came to a brand new realization. I will be educating future leaders. As much of an advocate I’ve been trying to be in the African American community as a teacher, maybe that just isn’t where God wants me to put my energy in. God has granted me these experiences teaching in diverse classrooms in order to build up the futures of these kids who will grow up to be the policy makers, politicians, leaders of tomorrow.
I will teach them to love.
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